Oh my.

Instead of editing and thinking (yes I am quite good at that. OVER thinking that is) I am going to just write and see what pops up on this here screen...

I had a super duper emotional day yesterday. Hubby was kinda flabbergasted with all the wetness streaming down the face of his usually very bubbly beloved wifey. I have been suffering for years, from what the doctor calls, fibromyalgia. I refuse to name it yet, shunning it away from my consciousness. And it really is true what that stupid clichè says: "OBLIVION IS BLISS". Let me explain. As I was saying, I have been suffering for a really looong time from this agonising pain in my body. But, as all things persistent go, you get used to the little bugging buggers. Off to the doctor the other day for some other 'klein klein jakkalsies' and mentioned got the pain thing. Some poking, a little squeezing, prescribed pills got. Pop a few, pain gone, feel aaawesome!! I never knew there are people walking around without a clamp on their head and knitting needles stuck inbetween each vertebra pinching the living hell out of your spinal cord. On cloud number 9 flying around in seventh heaven getting hugged by chubby cherubs, life is GRREAT!... Pills finished, pain returs 7times!!! Oh. My. God!! SERIOUSLY?!? This is what my body felt like all these years? No wonder I had crying spells, murderous intentions, headaches sent directly from Hades and this uncontrollable thirst for copious amounts of alcohol! It numbed the pain!!! I wasnt an alcoholic... I was on medication fooools! Thats what Im trying to explain about the Oblivion is bliss thing. I could handle the pain previously cause I thought that was normal. Then I got a taste of sweet sweet heaven and the return to my "normal" was just so much more hellish. That was what the crying fit was about yesterday. I felt uncontrollably sad, dissappointed and generally just die moer in cause I dont know how to fix me.

Right, venting over, feel better already. Nope, lying. Still feeling like CRAP! Saving meds for next week, going on training. This weekend I will be dousing myself with other medication... thee alcohol she's soooothing...

P.S....

PRETTY PIC FRIDAY LITTLE F*&^!! Thought I forgot nè... Nevaaaa!

love you all, have a great great weekend. Chat again NEXT friday.